Savasana

My mom shared this with me after taking one of my yoga classes. I've been wanting to put the yoga experience into words like this for a long time! She's also written a book, which you can find here :)

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Savasana

Before I opened the door I smelled the Pacholli. The incense filled the crisp night air causing me to wonder...
I took this as a good sign. I am blessed.
My daughter is my yoga instuctor and she is not a cynic.

I am stong and yet, my left leg shakes during the lunge...warrior pose i think.
To be a warrior I must breathe and stare at the outlet on the wall,
to look elsewhere is to lose my balance. Sometimes I can do it
other times I wobble and look very silly.

She works me hard and I can hardly stand it, stand up. Reach.
She asks me to reach and stretch and open up my fingers to the sky.
My left lung is damaged from my life, my path...
it hurts me deeply. I feel it thru and thru and thru,
this ouch in my chest and, of course, in my mind.
But I must reach up and look, see those fingers.

There is no condemnation to be found in this hardwood room;
candles illuminate softly, reminding
pressing into us that we too should not be hard on
ourselves. That we should illuminate our light.

She presses down into my stretch with her hands
a gentle force, she holds my head, my skull and pulls it away
streching the spine, releasing stress.
i like it and smile. i try not to smile. i should be serious i think, but i am not sure.

After the moves and poses and ballet of it all~ at times it feels like ballet, so graceful
i get to rest, lay on my mat and put into my mind nothing
or accept what is there. my intentions may be revisited. i have breathed into them
this evening and let them go
rather than rule...
savasana makes me weep
at her beauty and skill and soft words and stong hold
and my bad lungs.

Savasana fills my eyes with tears that run down my cheeks quietly
in the glow of candle.
and no one knows it. not even her.

Afterwards i tell her, embarressed and a little ashamed about the lung
and she hugs me, because that is what she is
my yoga teacher.