last day

It's my last Saturday at the libary, and Tuesday will be my official Last Day. Feels good and right.

Looking over an old livejournal post, seems relevant to my current situation, my upcoming change, so I'll share here:
--
today it's kind of windy, i rather be in front of a tv drinking wine.i just sat in child's pose inside my cubicle on the floor. sometimes this happens in the emptiness of afternoons here, after people around have left, when there's less risk of being exposed. sometimes i realize i am there after the fact, when i am already in it. my body tells me what to do. i think most while drinking tea, green, after it's cooled a little. sat in a 2 hour meeting today to learn a new program. bullshit. i'll feel bad when i leave here but not that bad. i have my suspicions of others who are on their way out as well. some of us will leave, most will stay. most have stayed here. i looked around the room at this meeting earlier and realized how much i must stick out here. i already knew this, but i really do. sometimes i think i fit, but then there are moments when everyone might as well be pointing at me, i am so aloof. part of it is by choice, because i feel so different here. it's the job that isn't me. it's not their fault really. i just don't belong here. some things can not be explained. kevin left 2 bananas for me, he's taking off wed-fri. he will miss the 2nd part of the meeting, another 2 hours where they try to get us psyched up for this new computer program we need to learn. it is bullshit. i have a difficult time taking computers seriously, taking this company and the people i work for seriously. it's better if i leave because i'm not one of those people who are good at going through the motions no matter what. i need to feel something. almost 4. then off to pick up prescription and some fruit/veggies. i wish i knew how to grocery shop/cook. i never know what to make. i bought Children of Men, i want to watch that. it was so cool in the theater, but in the end the book wins. i'm not sure where i will go but i know it will be with Danielle, the person who knows me better than i know myself. it's scary to think i have to make myself who i want to be, but i'm excited to see who i will become. it always comes back to yoga, no matter what. to movement in general. maybe i hurt my back for a reason...i don't regret. i would not be in this body if it weren't for it, even though i curse it all the time because of pain. maybe i would choose to work in an office for the next however many years, but i know i can't do that. it's so unnatural to me..especially when i have the ability to do something i want to do, again it's scary because i have to make it happen, but it's not the kind of scary like thinking about the next 20 years sitting inside a cube...we will see.
--
That was from when I worked at Cadmus. Isn't it weird that in a few days I will no longer sit behind a desk for money? It always comes back to yoga, like I said over two years ago, and indeed it has...in a huge way. : )